Money McBags has been busy so today's report will be brief, like the Anglo-Zanzibar war of 1896 or Gary Coleman's remaining days (what, too soon?). The market tanked again and closed down 8% for the month of May which is the worst May in 48 years which was so long ago that the Hulk comic book had just been launched and Brigitte Bardot was at the peak of her ungodly powers. Sinking the market today was that it was open, well that and Spain was downgraded by Fitch from cultutral institution to Europe's bitch. Fitch cut Spain's rating from AAA to AA+ which means absolutely nothing to Money McBags because he doesn't use the metric system. That said, if there is an algebra teacher in the house, Money McBags would love to have them solve for X in the equation AAA - X = AA+. The director of Spain's Treasury, Soledad Nunez, whose first name is so awesome that Money McBags can't bring himself to mock it, reminded the market that AA+ is "still a high rating" before reminding the market that Fitch is worse at their jobs than he is.
In US macro news, incomes rose .4% but consumer spending was flat in the first logical economic move by US consumers since sales of the pet rock fell to 0. Spending growing at a lower rate than income growth implies that people are actually saving which would go a huge way towards cleaing up this debt driven culture in the long run.
In stock news, some shit went up but most shit went down because we're in a bear market with more downside volatility than Lindsay Lohan with a dime bag. AAPL was one company that was up strong today on a price target increase to $325 from BofA Merrill, or as they are better known as BofS Merrill. With iPad sales predicted to make PCs obsolete and allow NSFW muff guessing enthusiasts to take their sport on the road with them, Apple is one company that should continue to do well even if Europe falls in to the ocean. In other stock news, GS is said to be ready to settle with the SEC to avoid fraud charges but unless the settlement is inconceivably large for Lloyd Blankfein to handle, Money McBags would like to see this go to trial. If Goldman is not guilty of fraud than Money McBags' understanding of the words "fraud" and "guilt" are worse than George W. Bush's understanding of the words "mission" and "accomplished" or Tiger Woods' understanding of the word "fidelity."
Anyway, sorry for a brief marginally funny report today but it has been busy at Chez McBags. Of course, if you send 10 or1MM of your friends to When Genius Prevailed, Money McBags will be able to spend more time analyzing the markets, knocking out dick jokes, and sharing his love of all things Sonya Kraus. So enjoy you're long weekend and remember to be careful out there.